Vakare and her maternal grandmother, Aldona
My maternal grandmother, Aldona, immigrated to the United States from Lithuania during WWII. Essentially all of my memories of her revolve around song. Whatever the circumstance, be it cuddled up on her lap as a toddler, sitting on the beaches of Lake Michigan, attending one another’s choral concerts, passing time in a hospital bed, to paying tribute to her ascending soul in what was essentially a musical camp circle funeral, my grandmother angelically belted a song to bring our family closer together.
Perhaps my favorite musical memory is of a story that she loved to tell. It was not long after she had come to The States that she took a late shift job washing windows at an office building in Chicago. One evening, thinking that everybody had left the building for the day, my grandmother performed an opera to help pass the time (every time she told this part of the story, I pictured a truly magical Disney-esque scene… windows sparkling, soap suds flying, the mops and buckets dancing with her 
). She’d just reached her “high c” and was about to shoot for the stars when out of nowhere she heard a woman’s voice, “WHAT are you doing!?!” My grandmother, startled and embarrassed started to apologize for the disturbance, she thought that everybody had left already, etc., and the woman again, interrupted and said, “No, what I meant was: what are you doing washing windows with a voice like THAT!?”
No, the mystery woman was not a talent scout and my grandmother didn’t go on to sing at The Met, however, she no longer washed windows. This saint of a woman ended up funding a banking education for my grandmother, and once that was finished, she found a job for her at Citibank. So, really, because of her love for song, my grandmother was able to raise her family in The US, and, so… here I am.
My grandmother instilled a simple and pure musical passion in me. I believe this to be one of the most crucial qualities in a vocalist. To sing is at once an incredibly selfish and selfless art. The selfishness is birthed from the high level of self-gratification that tends to come from the art. Some experience the joys of singing solely through something known as the “Diva Syndrome,” which I personally believe there is little room for in this art.
Ok. I suppose that as the fabulous Julians we are, we cannot help but fall into the “Diva” category. We are powerful, confident… but we do it with grace. Is important to have confidence, but “diva” has gained so many negative connotations (a singer who is egotistical, rude, intolerable, disrespectful) that it is virtually impossible to truly create art with people like this.
In order to be a selfless performer, one must let go of insecurities. We all know how difficult this is, but it is crucial! We must learn to trust ourselves and to trust our skill. This way, we can serve as channels through which art can overflow. With a thoughtful confidence, graceful humility and a respect for art, the musical magic can begin. It is difficult to find singers who have mastered this balance, and believe me; I will be working to find it for the rest of my life.
When I sit with The Julians, I feel an instantaneous presence of this magic. I am amazed and overwhelmed by these women. However different our backgrounds are, we come with open hearts yearning for the same thing. Each one of us brings a unique and STRONG vocal, personal, artistic color….yet each one of us willingly jumps onto the communal palate to see what can become. As we lean into one another, pushing our harmonies to the limit, I can feel the intensity grow… I feel our ascent into a musical super-galaxy and as I look around and soak it all in, I see that *we. get. it.* It takes my breath away.
